Dismissed Love
by Emera-Rene
Summary: AU L/P. She cries out as her body shudders irrepressibly in the wake of their joining. It's all so wrong. She knows it's wrong. She's slipping into a dark abyss. She just wants it all to go away and he just wants to save her.


The blood blends in with the crimson satin of her prom dress.

It glistens down her neck, seeping from the sheer gash that's parting her skin.

There's a lot. Too much. And as it pours from her weakening body it wickedly takes her life with it.

Her eyes go from seeing to blind in seconds.

Her hands stop fighting.

Her body stops fighting.

It's the end.

That's when she wakes up. Her heart racing wildly. Her forehead laced in sweat.

On the rare occasion that her body gives into sleep, she has that same taunting dream that makes her never want to close her eyes again because it's not just a silly dream. It's not just a nightmare. It's a memory. A memory that she'll never be able to erase. Because it's etched into her mind forever, because who, after all, could ever forget watching their best friend murdered before their very eyes.

* * *

She cries out as her body shudders irrepressibly in the wake of their joining.

He's panting into the crook of her neck and each breath that hits her clammy skin contaminates the last of her integrity.

It's all so wrong. She knows it's wrong.

She tries to sit up. Tries her damned hardest to avoid having a conversation because she just can't.

But he doesn't let her. He's still angry. His anger and frustration is what fuelled this whole encounter.

His left hand is still fisted in her dress, holding it bunched up at her waist while the other grips her forearm, keeping her pinned against the freshly cut grass.

She's starting to panic. They're not in view but she knows that if someone goes into the upstairs bathroom and peers out the window toward the tennis courts they'll be seen.

She's twenty five, married and a mother.

She misses the days when she was just seven and excited to see the world.

She hasn't got very far; living just two streets from where she grew up. She supposes she should be happy. She has a big house and a family.

Only she's not. She despises herself for it. She's meant to feel like all her dreams have come true. She doesn't. Instead she feels imprisoned, burdened by everyone around her, everyone except _him._

_He_ makes her feel alive.

'Don't you ever let him speak to you that way' His words are barely there, slurred together but she hears. He's referring to the man she shares a bed with. He's referring to the man who put the gold band around her wedding finger, to the man she calls her husband. To the man that not half an hour ago all but laughed at her when she mentioned wanting to find a job.

She's mute beneath him.

It's her in-laws anniversary. Right now the adults are all gathered inside sipping on champagne. She can hear the sound of children laughing out on the front lawn. Despite the distance she can still depict her daughter's shrill laughter from the rest.

Her vacant eyes stare up at the overcast sky.

The sun has disappeared behind a white cloud as though mourning the sin she's just committed.

He's kissing her neck, unwilling for this to be over just yet. He's waited so long to get in between her legs and this isn't how he visualised it going at all. He wanted her on a bed. He wanted it to be gentle and romantic. He wanted it to be special, wanted it to be perfect, he'd wanted it to be the exact opposite of everything it was.

'I'm pregnant'

His lips stop their gentle caresses.

Her confession lingers in the air. Stagnant and repugnant. He's just had sex with her and although it wasn't under the loving circumstances he'd hoped for, although it was rough and quick he still saw this as the beginning. He'd told himself she'd leave her husband, that they could be happy. Only this changes things.

'I'm getting an abortion' She continues evenly.

He feels sick.

Her words have the desired affect, he manoeuvres himself off of her.

She's pregnant. Pregnant with his brother's baby.

She doesn't move. She stays laying on the ground, inhaling the sweet smell of freshly mown grass. It reminds her of being little. It reminds her of being free.

He sits at her side. 'Does he know?'

She doesn't answer his question. She doesn't hear. Instead she asks 'What do you think it's like up there?'

He follows her gaze.

'In heaven?'

She laughs. She doesn't believe in such a thing. 'No. The sky. Sometimes I wish I could float up, past the sky until there's no oxygen to breathe and then I'd just slip away to another world'

He's confused by her little disillusioned fantasy and chooses to just ignore it all together.

'Peyton, does he know?'

She averts her eyes to him. 'No'

'Don't, don't you think he has a right to know?'

She wonders how he can be so diplomatic. It's no secret that the two brothers don't get along. He's just fucked her in his father's back garden, he's just deceived his brother in the worst possible way and now he's concerned about her doing right by her husband?

'Why?'

'He's the father Peyton' He states gently. 'He should have a say'

'And I don't?' She swiftly turns back to staring at the sky. There's a break in the clouds and the sun pierces through, blinding her.

'I didn't say that' He zips up his trousers and buckles his belt.

'I'm the one that'll carry it for nine months. I'm the one that will bring him or her up. He's never here'

'I'm here'

She laughs again. He's scared of that laugh. It's unlike the usual laughter that he strives to hear.

'Leave him' He wants nothing more than to be with her properly. His brother doesn't treat her right. He'd treat her right.

'Don't be absurd' She pushes her dress down and stands on wobbly limbs, a dull ache between her legs. A dull ache that she never wants to go away. She wants a constant reminder of what just happened because she won't allow herself it again.

'Are you okay?' He staggers to his feet after her, not oblivious to her grimace. 'I'm sorry I was too rough-'

'No' She smiles, her finger covering his lips. 'Please don't ever apologise for what we just did Lucas' She shakes her head and then looks down. 'Thank you' She kisses his cheek. 'You should probably wait here for a bit' She doesn't look up, doesn't wait for any parting words from him. He watches as she slips through the trees and makes her way across the large garden, her heels sinking in the grass, much like his heart.

* * *

He's not abusive. He's never raised a hand to her.

They're just completely unsuited and bring out the worst in each other.

She thinks that perhaps in another life time they could have even been friends.

They'd dated in high school. He'd been the king of basket ball, her, the prettiest cheerleader. It was ever so cliché and that's all it ever was; a high school romance.

He'd cheated on her frequently, she was sure. Only she never ended it. She was lonely. Her father stayed away working and she craved company.

She knows that they'd have never stayed together had it not been for the child perched at the breakfast bar.

She doesn't regret Sawyer Scott. Not for a second. She regrets allowing Dan Scott to persuade her into a marriage she neither wanted nor was ready for.

She'd been eighteen. She'd wanted so much and with in that single year her life's course did a complete one hundred and eighty.

'Mummy?'

She wearily looks up.

'Can I get a baby brother or sister?'

Her eyes expand.

It's as though the seven year old knows of the choice she's made, knows of the beginning life in her womb that she's planning to kill.

Guilt weighs painfully on her chest.

'Hannah Cook said she asked her Mummy and Daddy for a baby brother or sister and then she got Katie for Christmas'

Peyton's brow furrows and she blinks, shaking her head. 'It doesn't really work like that honey'

The child lets out a heavy breath as her father walks in.

'What's with the long face kido?' He's home for a couple of days and then he'll be gone again, back to the number one most important thing in his life- basket ball. He loves his daughter, he really does, he just grew up being taught that basket ball was everything, that winning was everything.

'I want a brother or sister'

'Well' Nathan smiles down at her. 'Mummy and me will see what we can do about that' His hand settles on the small of Peyton's back and she grimaces at his touch, grimaces at the way her daughter's face lights up.

'Don't say things like that to her' Peyton scolds, shrugging him away.

She walks out of the stifling kitchen.

His heavy paces follow her and her heart races as he corners her in the hallway. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing'

'Babe-'

'I just don't see the point in planting a seed in her head'

He smirks, tugging her stiff figure into him. 'Well how about, I plant the seed in you first?'

She cringes at both his words and the way their lower halves are pressed together. She's still tender. Tender from the things she allowed his brother to do to her just the previous day.

'You just assume I want another child? ... Because I don't' She shoves him away.

'Peyton' He rolls his eyes and glances at his watch. 'I'm going to be late for training. Look, we'll talk about this later'

She glowers as she watches him gather his things. She knows what that means. _We'll talk about this later_. It means he'll talk and she'll listen and come to reason because that's how it works. She's meant to be the abiding housewife. She's meant to be just like her mother in-law. Only as hard as she tries to play the part it's never quite good enough.

* * *

'Are you sure about this?' He's come with her. He wouldn't be anywhere else. He's always there when she needs him and she's thankful to have his hand to hold. She knows he doesn't approve. She doesn't approve. She knows it's not a baby yet, that it's barely the size of a peanut but she still sees it as though she's committing a murder. Only she just _can't not_ do this. She's watched her daughter grow up. She watches everyday as Sawyer Scott becomes more and more like herself and it terrifies her. She doesn't want to burden another child with a mother like herself. She's slipping into a dark abyss and she knows she's physically incapable of nurturing a child right now. She doesn't eat. She doesn't sleep. She's not fit to be a mother.

He takes her back to his apartment afterwards because she's got cramps and she's not stopped crying and apologising since she swallowed the two white pills.

He tells her it's going to be okay but in reality he's terrified that she's never going to be able to get over this. He's wishing he'd found the strength to stop her, only he couldn't. Because a part of him, the jealous part, didn't want to watch her carry his brother's baby.

He's dabbing her sweaty forehead with a damp cloth, concern etched on his face.

She's bleeding heavily and she knows Nathan would never have sat beside her had he been there. He would have been repulsed by her blood seeping into the bed sheets. He would have called his mother and urged her to come and play nurse. Lucas, however, doesn't dare to move from her side. He holds her hand and tells her he loves her.

He's never said those words before and she believes every last syllable because since the first moment they spoke it has _always_ been there between them. Only she's always dismissed his advances because he was with _her, _he was her best friend's boyfriend.

She presses her lips into the pillow, whimpering at the sharp cramps. She welcomes them, welcomes the pain.

Lucas rubs her back and she apologises over and over.

She's apologising for what she's just done. She's apologising for falling in love with Lucas Scott. She's apologising for being the reason his girlfriend is buried ten feet underground.

* * *

Peyton sits beside the bed, Sawyer lent precariously against the arm of the chair.

'Why do we have to come here Mummy?' The child asks curiously. Her nose is screwed up. She doesn't like this place. She doesn't like the smell and the nurses scare her.

'She's your Grandma, Sawyer' Peyton admonishes.

'But she's not like Nanny Deb. She doesn't speak to me. She doesn't know who I am. She just sits there' Sawyer says simply, indicating to the bedridden woman.

'She can hear you. She does know you' Peyton argues, contradicting scepticism ruling her voice. She's said those words so many times, believed them until recently. She's slowly loosing faith in everything.

Her mother's pretty much brain dead. A fact she's been aware of since she was her daughters' age. Since the car accident. A fact she's told herself could change. She'd made herself believe that one day Anna Sawyer would venture back to her fully in tact, ready to save her from the dull existence that was her life. Only as she sits there and stares into her mother's blank eyes as she's done so many times before, she's no longer hopeful, she realises that it's never going to happen. That she's clinging onto false hope.

Her mother's gone. Anna Sawyer is gone. Her body still breathing but her soul has left. This understanding brings a well due release, only she wishes she could join her mother and be free from the tortures of her own mind.

* * *

Sometimes she imagines Sawyer's his. Perhaps in a different world he would've been. She wishes it with all her heart, especially on days like today. Today is a good day. They're sitting on the beach and it's a little after eight and she knows she probably should get the youngster into bed but he's made a little fire. They've had a BBQ and now he's teaching Sawyer to skim stones across the surface of the calm shoreline.

She's never seen Nathan do anything remotely as fatherly with his daughter.

She smiles as she listens to her little girls' tinkling laughter as Lucas dotes upon her.

She knows he's not her father biologically but he's more of a father than Nathan has ever been. He's the man the seven year old will run to when she's sixteen and drunk for the first time. He'll go and get her. He'll hold her hair while she throws up. He'll lecture her but tell her it's okay and that he loves her. He's the man she'll cry to when she's suffering her first heart break. He's the man she'll rely on because he's here now and he'll be there then and although she doesn't know it now, he's the one that's held her mother up as she's stumbled and if anything, for that, he deserves her love.

Sawyer looks back over her shoulder, beaming at her mother.

She may only be at the tender age of seven but she's smart. She knows that her mother only smiles back at her like that when her Uncle Lucas is around. She likes it when her Mother's happy because the sadness invades Peyton's green eyes on a daily basis. Sawyer doesn't like it when she stays in bed all day. She doesn't like it when her curtains are shut all day. She doesn't like the darkness.

'I like being with you' Sawyer tells him softly, holding his hands around her little neck. He leans down, kissing her head.

'I like being with you too darling'

'You won't leave me will you?'

'Never' It's an effortless promise, one he'll keep until his dying day.

'Mummy's not sad when you're with us' Her observations are unsettling at times. He wonders what else she sees.

* * *

Dan Scott doesn't like their relationship. He doesn't like his eldest son very much for that matter, disliking him is a hell of a lot easier than feeling guilty for never having been there.

He's never admitted to any mistakes in his life, he's never tried to do right by the people he's wronged and it's a little late to start now.

He's not blind. History always repeats itself and this is a story he knows all too well. He's bitter. He still grimaces when he sees his brother walking hand in hand with his first girlfriend, Karen Roe. He can remember not five years ago having to sit in a church and watch them wed, he can remember having to return there not one year later to attend the christening of his new niece, Lily Scott. It wasn't that a part of him still loved her, he just couldn't stand to see that sickening happiness that they shone around the clock. It was repulsive.

He see's Lucas and Peyton one evening walking along the pier and having ice cream with his granddaughter. He reminds Peyton the next day of whom she's married to, of where her loyalties should lie.

His not so subtle statement sends her into a wild rage. She tells him it's none of his business who she does and doesn't see. She tells him to grow a pair because quite frankly she thinks this feud has gone on quite long enough.

He grits his teeth and grips her arm tight enough to scare her.

'Remember everything I've done for you Peyton' He warns her lowly. 'Remember that I could take it all away'

She does remember, only that threat doesn't insight the usual concern that knocks some sense into her. It's a threat that can no longer keep her subdued.

* * *

Maybe it's her father in-laws warning that has bought her here, that has fuelled her decision to do this but she's been decided for some time now.

She's not spoken to her father in four years, not spoken to him since the day he told her he wanted to cut her mother's life line, wanted to effectively kill her. She'd not been understanding, she'd not given him time to explain. She'd shut down his request instantly and he didn't have the heart to go ahead and give the order without her on board. So he'd left Tree Hill, immersing himself in his work at sea.

Her hands are shaking as she holds the phone to her ear.

It's taken more than several phone calls to get through to someone that could connect her to him and as his gruff voice mutters a hello her eyes well.

'Daddy'

There's a deafening silence.

'Peyton?'

'Yes' She clarifies.

The line crackles and she can hear shuffling of feet.

'What's wrong? Are you okay? Has something happened?' He assumes the worst. Something has to have happened for her to be ringing.

'No, nothing' Her throat constricts. 'I'm so sorry' She chokes suddenly and as soon as it's out she can't stop. 'I'm sorry. You, you were right. It has to end. It's, she's, it's not fair to her, she, she wouldn't have wanted this she, she, it's no life' She rambles.

He wishes more than anything that he could see her face. Asides from her evident sobs he can tell she's completely drained and he suddenly wishes he hadn't left because he's pretty certain she's not looking after herself. She's not had the easiest of lives, she's been through so much, so much pain and he wants to relieve her of it all but he knows she's the only person that can do that.

'I, I'm going to do it- if, if that's okay?'

He takes a shuddering breath that she hears loudly. 'Yes' He's shaking now. He's wanted this for a long time but the knowledge that her heart will no longer beat terrifies him. All these years, knowing that her heart was beating wherever he was, has always been a great comfort to him. Only that's a pure selfish reason to keep somebody alive because that's all she was now, a beating heart.

'Shall, shall I wait for you- do you want to, to be here?' She wonders.

'No' He answers sharply. He already said his goodbye. He can't go back to see her still laying there motionless because he doesn't think his heart can handle it. 'I, I loved her so much sweetheart, you know that right?'

She knows. She realises that it's his constant, undying love for her mother that allowed him to make this choice a hell of a lot sooner than she has.

'I'm sorry-'

'Don't you apologise Peyton' He tells her sternly. 'You don't have to explain. I know how difficult this is'

She nods but he can't see.

'How, how's everything else? Everything okay with Sawyer and Nathan?' He's not seen his granddaughter in four years. She'd been just three and he wants to know every last detail, only he knows that's not going to happen right now.

'They're fine. Everything's fine'

He doesn't argue, he knows best not to argue.

'Well, I should go' She mutters. Her minds on one thing only.

'Yes, well, I'll come home as soon as I've finished this job. We'll catch up. Get past this' He's not great with words. He wants to tell her he's sorry too. He wants to apologise for not looking after her as well as she should have been. He wants to apologise for leaving and most of all he wants to tell her he's going to make it up to her and although none of those words find there way into the phone's receiver she understands, she hears loud and clear.

'I'd like that'

They say goodbye and hang up and although it was awkward it's cleared the air and they both know that their father/daughter relationship will reignite on his return, that they'll have survived this because they have something in common. They both loved a woman that through unfortunate circumstances was taken cruelly from them and only they can truly understand that pain.

* * *

'Are you ready?'

She's gripping her mother's fingers and in a flash she's flooded with memories.

Her Mother's hands rocking her. Cupping her face. Wiping her tears. Threading through her hair. Interlocking with her own. Covering her little body in calamine lotion when she had the chicken pox. Applying sun lotion to assure she didn't burn. Holding her as she rode her bike. Teaching her to draw. Pushing her on the swing. Embracing her. Loving her.

She opens her eyes and nods her consent to the Doctor.

It happens fast.

It's over within thirty seconds.

She's not prepared for the relief that washes over her. She'd been prepared for immense sadness and grief, not relief.

The Doctor ensures her that she didn't feel a thing, that she's at peace and a small smile curls her lips as she nods.

Anna Sawyer's at peace and for a short while Peyton is too.

* * *

She calls and practically demands that he come over.

He's there in a second, her urgent call evidently scaring him. She doesn't answer straight away as he shouts her name through the large house. He soon finds her in her room. In her and Nathan's room. It's late evening and the curtains are drawn and the lights are off and it takes his eyes a moment to adjust and find her silhouette sitting on the bed.

He hastily flicks on the light and asks her what's wrong.

She just stares at him and then she's standing and walking hastily in his direction and then she's kissing him. Hard and fast.

He won't for a second contemplate saying no. He wants this, wants her too badly. It's his chance to really show her how much he loves her. It's his chance to make up for what happened some four months ago on the back of his father's stately home.

She doesn't know what's possessed her to do this. She'd vowed she'd never allow herself this again. Only it's been a long day. She spoke to her father after four years of silence. She said goodbye to her mother. She just wants to feel something really, really mind blowing. She wants him to make her feel.

He walks her backward to the bed and then he's guiding her slender figure onto the mattress.

He briefly, very briefly thinks they should probably talk about this before it happens but then again he's sure it won't happen at all if he instigates a conversation.

'You're so beautiful' His words whisper against her neck.

Her green eyes are suddenly swimming with tears. The day has finally caught up with her and she's emotional.

He's holding her thighs around his waist and he's pressed against her in the most delightful way and she just knows she doesn't deserve the wonderful things he's doing to her.

He slides down the zip on her jeans and she arches into him and then she's apologising because she's too weak to fight this any longer. The pull between them is too strong 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' She chants over and over.

'What for?' He cups her face, breathing heavily.

She hadn't realised she was saying it aloud and his question startles her. She just wants him to carry on kissing her neck like he was just moments ago.

'What for baby?' His thumbs are running back and forth across her cheek bone, trying to urge words from her lips.

'It's my fault she's dead' She eventually utters.

Brooke Davis' face instantly fills his mind and for a split second Peyton sees her hovering behind him and the guilt fires up in her chest again.

She always had that stupid web-cam on. Although obviously not intentionally, she'd reeled in the stalker. It was her own fault that he'd come knocking.

'No' He disagrees. 'Peyton you've got to let it go. She'd want you to be happy' Of course he'd been traumatised and deeply saddened about Brooke's death, as had everyone. Although the difference was that he'd grieved, he'd grieved for a long six months and then let go and moved on, keeping the chirpy brunette in his heart. Where as Peyton, well, she'd punished herself since the day it had happened.

'I'm sure she'd be delighted that I'm about to let you fuck me' Peyton drawls sarcastically.

He closes his eyes. 'Brooke and I weren't meant to be. Even if Ian Banks hadn't murdered her we wouldn't have made it Peyton because all I ever thought about was you. I loved her, I did. I just wasn't in lover with her'

She swallows because she feels sick. She's mad at him for saying something so awful. She feels like she's committing the most awful of betrayals. She doesn't care about Nathan, about the infidelity she's committing, she cares about Brooke. She knows that doesn't even make sense. Brooke was gone, Nathan was not.

'He wanted me. Not her. I wish, I wish you hadn't have come'

With neither his girlfriend nor her best friend's presence at prom, it wasn't unnatural for Lucas to be concerned and go looking. He'd been too late for the brunette, not too late for the blonde.

He'd never get her screaming sobs out of his mind.

He'd knocked the front door down, charged up the stairs and barged into her bedroom. The psycho had been just seconds from violating her uncooperative body. With adrenaline pumping through him, he'd beaten Ian banks unconscious before attending to an inconsolable Peyton.

He'd never forget the way she'd then screeched at him to find Brooke. To please save her.

It was too late though. Brooke Davis couldn't be saved.

'I wish you'd just let him kill me too because then I wouldn't have to feel like I do. I want to stop living to just make it all go away'

A lump forms in his throat.

'I love you' He says gruffly.

Her eyes water.

'So don't you dare speak like that. You have a child Peyton. A little girl that fucking adores you, that needs you. I need you. You're my only reason for breathing'

He's known that her depression has got progressively worse since she had the abortion but he'd not realised to what extent.

He kisses her desperately, trying to convey how much he loves and needs her.

She's the one that encourages him not to stop. Her fingers work his pants undone and her feet push the offending denim down his legs.

He stops himself from rocking against her, instead pressing his forehead to hers.

She's about to ask him what's wrong and then he speaks.

'Barnsley House called me'

It's the name of the private specialised care home. The best in the state. The one her mother had been in for the last eleven years.

'They told me'

She blinks. She thinks it's ironic. He goes there so frequently with her that they have his contact details, not her husbands.

'She's at peace' She tells him softly. She knows she needn't say more, that he understands.

'Yes' He agrees. 'I would have come with you though'

'I needed to say goodbye by myself'

He closes his eyes because it's suddenly dawned on him that she's had a pretty shit day and he's probably taking advantage of that and this is probably everything she doesn't need right now so he tells her that.

She doesn't agree though. Her legs clamp around him and her hand runs delicately over the waistband of his boxers.

'Don't make me beg' Her arms snake round his neck, refusing to unlock.

He doesn't want to hear her beg. He wishes he had the control to just up and leave but he doesn't.

He gives her what she wants.

When he slides her lace boy shorts down her legs, he notices the scars and is frozen.

He doesn't know how he missed them the last time they did this but they hadn't really had time to take off each other's clothes and his eyes had stayed locked with hers from start to finish.

But he's seen them this time, criss crossing over the tops of her thighs.

He's angered because he's sure Nathan must know and he's done nothing about it.

She needs help. Professional help. Or maybe she just needs his.

She knows what he's studying and she just shakes her head slightly.

'I'm fine'

He knows she's not and his heart is racing because knowing that she's hurting herself like this is just killing him inside.

He needs her to be happy. He needs her to be safe.

He whispers kisses over the marks, trying to heal her and himself.

She'd wanted it as before. She'd wanted it rough and hard only he wasn't willing to give her that this time. He needed to show her the extent of his love so it's slow and tender and she's completely overwhelmed because it's the first time she hasn't felt that pain in her chest she just feels, feels loved.

'I'm taking you and Sawyer away' He whispers into her ear after, spooning her fragile body. 'You can be happy Peyton. We can, together'

They fall asleep.

She falls asleep for the first time in a long while and she doesn't wake until 8am. She wakes when a cold hand grasps hers. Her eyes instantly open wide.

'Mummy' Sawyer's whispering as she scrambles up onto the bed.

'Too early' Peyton mutters, coaxing the child to lay down and cuddle with her. But Sawyer's initial plan of tugging her mother out of bed to make pancakes has dissipated, she's more curious about the presence of the man in the bed. The man that's got his arms wrapped around her.

'Mummy why is Uncle Lucas in Daddy's side of the bed?' It's a simple question that urges Peyton's eyes to snap open.

She's a little disorientated but it all floods over her in a second.

He's stirring behind her and she gasps as he pulls her back tight against his chest and his lips kiss her shoulder.

Her wide green eyes are joined with the child's identical pair and she knows she knows.

She may be seven but she's already pointed out that her Uncle is in her Daddy's bed. She knows only her Daddy is meant to occupy that spot and she knows only her Daddy is permitted to hold her Mummy and kiss her Mummy like that.

Only she's not upset or scared. She feels safe and warm inside.

'Can we live with Luke now?'

Lucas has only just clocked on that they've got company and his lids flicker open to see his niece smiling.

He waits for Peyton's answer.

A long agonising minute later she nods.

'Yes'

* * *

She watches his eyes fill with tears. Tears of remorse, anger, sadness, she isn't quite sure.

But it startles her, Nathan Scott doesn't show his emotions.

He'd come home at the worst possible time. He'd walked into _his _bedroom while she was playing happy families with another man.

Lucas was only wearing sweat pants. He was standing by the window, Sawyer in his arms as he pointed down towards the beach and told her a somewhat extravagant story about two seagulls.

Peyton had been listening, laying on her front on the bed, wearing Lucas' tee and biting her lip to stifle her laughter and Nathan had never seen her so happy.

She'd not felt this for a long while.

She'd not felt happiness for too long.

Peyton had noticed him standing in the doorway first.

She'd sat up instantly, her gasp garnering Lucas' attention too.

There was a long moment when they all just stared at each other.

She'd fully expected Nathan to try and pummel his fists into Lucas and he probably would have, only he was holding Sawyer.

'Put her down'

Sawyer didn't want to be put down though, her little hands tightening around his neck.

'Luke why don't you take her downstairs' Peyton meekly suggested.

Lucas had frowned but relented just the same, she needed to speak with her husband.

Nathan didn't argue. He'd been lost for words. He'd been mad and he'd wanted to tell his brother to get his fucking hands off his child but he didn't want to scare Sawyer so he kept his mouth shut.

And now here they were, husband and wife standing just a metre apart only they'd never been so far apart.

When he hits her, he hits her hard and she knows as his palm sounds loudly against her cheek that he's neither angry, sad or remorseful. He's humiliated. She's his wife. She's meant to act accordingly, she's meant to be loyal and honest.

'My brother Peyton?' He shouts.

Her eyes are inevitably watering and she so badly wants to cradle her stinging cheek but she won't.

'It's not as though you're faithful to this fucking so called marriage' She musters.

He looks like a deer caught in headlights.

'Yes. I know about your little hotel rendezvous' with Rachel Gatina'

He grinds his teeth. 'Well at least I'm fucking discreet about it' He fires back. 'You're doing it under _my _roof. In _my _bed. With _my_ brother. While _my_ daughter is just down the fucking hall, you've not even hidden it from her'

She doesn't answer and he's frustrated at her blank eyes. He wants her to yell back and not just stand there.

'I want a divorce' She surprises herself with her words. She's wanted to say those four little words for the last six years.

He laughs. 'We're not getting a divorce'

She scrunches her eyes shut. 'I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this. I didn't want to marry you. I didn't want to live my life with you. I don't, I can't-'

His hands encircling her forearms cuts her off. 'I don't care. You said your vows. You said I do, until death do us part' He reminds gruffly. 'We'll go to marriage counselling'

She snorts and her eyes snap open. 'What? To fix what? How can you fix a marriage that's non existent Nathan?' She waits for an answer. He hasn't got one. 'I'm in love with Lucas'

He swallows. Finding out your wife is sleeping with your brother is one thing. Finding out she's in love with him is another.

'And I'm sorry, I am' She says sincerely. 'I didn't ask for this to happen. I tried to stop it. I tried to pretend. I've tried to be happy'

He looks at her properly for perhaps the first time in the last seven years and he doesn't recognise her. She's a shell of the girl he use to know. She's empty.

'Did you know that, that your dad came to me shortly after we found out about Sawyer?'

He raises his brow.

'He told me that if I agreed to marry you he'd pay for Mum's care' She revealed. 'I took her off the ventilator yesterday' She doesn't cry.

He's evidently astounded, his mouth open.

'I'm no longer obliged to stay with you' She tells him determinedly. 'This' Her hand wavers between them. 'This is over'

* * *

'Who was she?'

Peyton's never spoken about Brooke to her before.

'She was your Mum's best friend' Lucas has a supportive hand on her shoulder as she's knelt before the grave while his other is interlocked with his niece'.

'What happened to her?'

She's too young to know the extent of what happened but Lucas reels of a child proofed version.

She sits on her mother's lap when he finishes and she hugs her. 'I think Brooke's in heaven' Her little idealistic mind has her saying.

Peyton's eyes skitter to her daughters and she nods. As each day passes she's beginning to think that perhaps there is a heaven after all.

'I know she is' Lucas says behind them.

'And nothing bad can happen to you in heaven' She informs them knowledgeably. 'So don't be sad'

'I'm not' Peyton smiles and it's not forced.

She's happy.

'I'm happy baby' She stands up, holding her daughter in her arms. 'You want to know why?'

Sawyer smiles and nods yes.

'Because I've got you' She enlightens the child.

'And Luke' Sawyer reminds her.

'And Luke' Peyton slides her fingers into his and he rubs his thumb over her engagement ring and she knows this time forever isn't like a prison sentence.

This time forever is love and happiness. This time forever is irrevocable, it's everlasting, it is forever.

**end**


End file.
